Going home

I think the hardest part of this adoption has been knowing that Chelly wanted to take him home for a few days.  Deep inside every adoptive parent weather they admit it or not there is this little voice that tells you to be careful as the birthmom is going to change her mind.  It is so hard not to dwell on this voice, even though there is always that chance as it is her right to do so.  When our caseworker told us that Chelly wanted to take the baby home for a few days, I am afraid that Mike and I started to put up a small wall for just in case.  It didn't help that everyone who learned of this would gasp and get this face of fear.  I read some birthmom blogs and heard some first hand accounts and prayed like crazy.  So when Chelly finally talked to us about it, though still nervous, we were ok with it. We realizing we would much rather her change her mind while he was with her than after being with us for a few days.  If this was something that she needed then we would support her no matter how hard and scary it was for us. We had to put our trust in the Lord.  In a way I think this was why we hadn't settled on a name yet.  

Kelly our caseworker came in bright and early.  Chelly was going to sign the relinquishment papers (oh how I hate that word relinquishment- it is so formal/legal).  Chelly asked me to stay while she did this.  It was a very hard thing to listen as them read through all the paper work and make sure she understood what she was doing.  Once again I marveled at her strength and courage to do this. There is no doubt that she loves this little boy.  I hated seeing her cry and be sad but knew that it was part of the process and that this was something that she really wanted to do for him.

After all the hard part was over and the papers were signed, the tears were wiped away, we took pictures. 

Lots and lots of pictures of all of us. 

 While Chelly was getting ready Maggie wanted to hold her brother so I set her up in the chair. She was all smiles.  She wanted to sing him a song.  I asked her which one, out of the blue she said the family one mom.  Oh dear there were going to be flood gates open on this one.  As i helped her sing to her new little brother about how our family can be together forever It was all I could do to not just sob like a little baby behind the camcorder.

When she was done everyone had tears.  Chelly turned to me and said "that is why I'm doing this"  

What a sweet moment.  Maggie is going to be such great big sister.

After all the pictures were done, the teaching from the nurses was done. We packed up all the stuff and headed out to the cars.

Chelly with Doctor    who delivered him.

Italian bow tradition to be put on the door of the family with a new baby.

I kissed our sweet boy good bye on the head as I put him into his car seat and then strapped him into Chelly's car.  We gave big hugs to Chelly and her mom and drove off going our separate ways.  There were no tears, just calm and peace that this was how it should be.  I knew that the Lord's was in control of the situation and no matter what the outcome would be, He would help me.

Headed home in different directions